2009-09-02 - 11:36 p.m.
Maybe Jack Needs To Make His Problem Yours
Continued...
And my paranoia began to suspect the worst.
Maybe my medication wasn't meant to be a placebo, but it may as well be.
Inferior medication as my therapist called it.
I was sure that a mistake had been made and I had received the generic for controlled release. Possibly there was no mistake, because technically the two could be interchanged.
For a moment I felt relieved.
It did not last.
And all it took was a call to the pharmacy. To make it all better. Worse.
The pretty nice girl answered the phone. I recognized her voice. She probably recognized mine too.
I explained to her that it feels like I have not been taking my medication even though I have.
She referred me to the pharmacist who did not listen to a fucking word I was saying.
I told her I thought there was a mistake.
She reassured me that there was no mistake.
"It's the same thing."
Then it was like she had become a useless automaton that had been hit over the head too many times and got stuck in repeat.
She wasn't even listening.
I asked her about the HCL.
"That's hydrochloride. That's in all of them."
I tried to explain that it never said that on my bottle before, and what came up when I looked it up online.
"It's the same thing. It's in all of them."
YES I KNOW. IT'S IN ALL OF THEM. I did notice that when I read several web pages, including Glaxo Smith Kline's.
It is a salt.
And it may be in all of the formulations, but in the controlled release formula, it plays the critical role of controlling the release.
But she would not even let me talk.
Maybe her seemingly limited grasp of the English language kept her from keeping up.
That or she was not going to have this discussion with me.
After all, she is the high and mighty pharmacist.
And I am just another stupid crazy fucker on pills.
She had me describe the tablet to her.
"It's the same thing."
"So it isn't controlled release?" I wasn't saying this because I did not get it. I just did not believe her. And she was not listening.
"No. There isn't one. It's the same thing."
Fucking lies.
Yes.
There.
Is.
It is relatively new, but there is a generic form of the CR.
She fucking lied to me.
For the sake of argument, even if it was true something is still obviously wrong. My medication is not working.
What she should have done was reassure me that I had received what I was supposed to. And not lied.
Then she should have offered to refill my prescription.
I would have paid for it again.
I understand they probably would have had to throw away the bottle I have now.
If I had brought anything else back to the store, I would have immediately been offered an exchange.
She said I could come down and see for myself that it was the same.
That would have been a very bad idea.
By now I felt like ripping her face off.
I am Jack's Raging Surging Withdrawals.
I need fucking medication that works.
You are not even fucking listening.
If you were, you would fucking do something.
Other than play "yes it is/no it's not" with yourself, because I stopped caring what the fuck it is.
The problem is it isn't working.
It's not your problem.
But I could make it yours. Easily.
Continued...
Jack's Life Feels So Acted Out - 2009-09-28
Jack Remembers; The Smell Of Pumpkin Spice - 2009-09-04
Jack Tortures Another Entry Out Of Himself - 2009-09-04
Jack's Sick Violent Thoughts - 2009-09-03
