2005-08-24 - 8:59 p.m.
Jack's Waking Dream
It could have been days ago, when I wandered into that room.
The one where Tyler plays therapist, on those very special occasions that we never talk about.
It could have been some time early this morning.
It could have been some time late yesterday evening.
When I found myself laying on the black vinyl fainting couch. Our cracked Freudian love seat.
Staring up at the ceiling.
Waiting.
For something.
Not Tyler.
Just for something.
I was waiting for the day to break.
For the sun to set.
For something.
It could have been some time early this morning.
It could have been some time late yesterday evening.
When Tyler joined me.
On the floor.
I was on the floor now.
He didn't say anything.
I didn't say anything.
He was waiting for something too.
Have you ever laid so still, that you were sure you disappeared? Become so latent, that you were not sure if you even existed anymore?
I turned and looked at Tyler.
I opened my mouth, and tried to say everything that I was and was not feeling. Things I felt I would forget entirely if I did not say them right now. This very moment.
I wanted to get a pen.
I wanted to run.
I was in Heaven, and I was in Hell all in the same moment.
It did not make sense.
Tyler could see that I was trying to talk.
He sat up and said "Just enjoy it. You are going to wake up soon."
It's Only After You've Lost Everything... - 2008-03-12
Jack Is Afraid Of Losing Everything - 2008-03-10
Jack Does Not Know What He Is Living For - 2008-03-07
Jack's Festering Apathy - 2008-03-07
