2009-11-20 - 8:51 p.m.
Jack's Words That He Can Never Say
I may have said this here before, but I miss myself.
The funny thing is, you can not just call yourself up out of the blue. Hey you.
You can not drive past your own house, look inside and wonder what you are doing. And want more than anything for someone to look out the window.
Please stop me.
Ask me inside.
Tell me you are so surprised to see me.
But you keep driving by. Unnoticed. No one. A ghost haunted. Instead of the other way around.
You can not watch your own screen name sign on and off. And feel funny when you wonder what happened.
Even if you suddenly had a bullet proof ego and larger than life courage, there is no way to approach this person. There are no words simple or powerful enough to just convey that something you have had to keep to yourself.
I still think about you every day.
I am sorry for hurting you.
I am sorry for treating you like you were unbreakable. Then breaking you.
I am not sure if I ever loved someone more than you.
I think you always knew how I felt. Maybe it scared you. Maybe you didn't know what to do. Maybe it was all in my head.
I am Jack's Words That He Can Never Say.
Yet, the only words that I have for myself are the ones I never write anymore.
I miss the way I used to write every stupid little thing.
I miss myself. And yet I am right here.
Ignoring myself.
Jack's Wind Burned Bleeding Nipples - 2009-11-03
Jack's Lickable Mind - 2009-10-30
Jack's Silent Filed Down Instincts - 2009-10-15
Jack Wanders Through Everyone Else's Friday Night - 2009-10-09
